Wrong Way

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what it means to try to be more like Jesus.  I mean, He was perfect … trying to stack my deck against His seems so ridiculous.  I’ve only been a Christian 5 years.  Wow was my life upside down prior to then!  And I have a confession to make — in the past 5 years since being baptized I was still sinning.  Sometimes *big* sins.  I still am a sinner.  I will always be a continual work in progress.

I’ve mentioned in at least one past post that my life has been kind of bananas lately.  And as a result I’m exponentially more stressed than usual.  Which means I’m more prone to occasional behavior that’s really not typical.  I’ve had times when I’ve been short with my husband, parents and my kids.  I’m having a harder time keeping commitments we’ve made to things that aren’t critical.  My sleep is suffering.  Running is suffering.  And the Lindsay I am is a shadow of herself… I’m quieter, less smiley and quicker to frustration.

Is it embarrassing to post to the world that I’ve not been myself?  No.  I’m completely okay with being a regular human being, and I don’t think being open and unapologetic about my faith means I have to be perfect and live a sinless life.  Too often I believe (and see) self-described Christians acting as though they must portray perfection, but meanwhile they’re stuck in grudges, being controlling, quick to anger, judging others, disrespecting their parents, committing adultery or idol worshiping – and sadly they seem to have forgotten they are the Christian in the situation.  As the Christian, I feel it is my responsibility to care more about how others feel than how I feel.  If I am truly living my life striving each day to be more like Jesus then I must be willing to put my hurts aside and try to find the good in others or in a bad situation.  And it is my responsibility to do whatever I have to do in order to get things back on track.  I know it sounds corny, but think about a situation perhaps you’ve been struggling with and ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”  I have found more and more that asking myself that question when I’m in the midst of a difficult situation or dealing with a difficult person has helped me feel better about the way I react.  I want my karma to be more like Jesus.  He loved us even though we didn’t/don’t deserve it.

The good news is that I am cognizant of my indiscretions.  I know I’ve been off path and I am working to get things sorted out.  Identifying a shortcoming, accepting your fault(s), making amends and figuring out how or where to go to step into the right direction I think is the first step to healing and getting away from your sin.  It’s not always easy to get things corrected, but being strong and humble and again realizing I am *supposed to be* the Christian in the situation really helps.  People know I’ve been baptized.  If I’m a fair weather Christian then what does that say about Christianity to non-Christians in my life?

Never will I be perfect.  Never will I claim to be.  Never will every choice I make every day be free of error.  No one in any church is without sin or problems.

But never will I deny my love for Christ.  Never will I run from my sins or give up my Christian walk because I’m embarrassed over a sin I’ve committed or think I’ve messed up too badly to fix things.  To my Christian friends who are currently in the middle of a difficult situation I’d like to offer you this – work hard to make things right and focus your actions and heart on Jesus.  Stay humble and be willing to be the bigger person.  Show non-Christians in  your life what love and forgiveness really feels like.  I believe that kind of discipleship is what will open them up to the idea of getting to know Him.  We are His representatives.

Run by faith,

Lindsay

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